I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
