I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
