We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
