the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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