Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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