I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
