The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
