are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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