my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
