Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
