I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
