seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
