i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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