clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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