Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
