yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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