can u get pink eye on your cock?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
