so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
