Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Green mimosas i think yes
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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