I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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