I want you more than these girls want KFC
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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