We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize