shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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