We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
