it hurts more in the daytime
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
