I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
