Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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