Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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