I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
