How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
