I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
