You made me cry and you don't even care
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
