I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
