I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
