would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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