it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
