North Korea, Best Korea!
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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