We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
and she was petting her beer can
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
