i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
