from now on my penis is your penis
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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