Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
