C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Randomize
