I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize