i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
