I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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