I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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