Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
