I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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