I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
