I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize