i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize