I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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