oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
