please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
