btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
