that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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