The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
