Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You just made me feel so damn special
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
She said her name was "party"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
