I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
