I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
