Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
