So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
