My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
