I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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