so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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