i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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